Calculus Poem by: Grant Toneck
The power, the force, the sum of all fears,
Its enough to bring a grown man to tears.
To take all of this with increasing grace,
To do it all without a boastful "In your face!"
Its not rational, you see, to expect such things,
But when you circle the spot, youll see what I bring.
I bring an odd point of view, one thats out of the box,
Its both positive and negative; itll rock your socks.
This inequality, my life, has no absolute value,
Its infinite, whichs all Im here to tell you.
Even though the range is little in this magical rhyme,
Youll see the origin of me; youll see the sine.
My names Toneck not Tonic, my voice aint monotonic,
When you integrate the name, youll see that its ironic.
The T stays a T, the N becomes an E,
The O is now an H, cause Hookes Law dont apply to me.
As we continue to go its easy to say,
That the E becomes an M and the E is now an A.
The K becomes an N, now Im "THE MAN,"
Just to let all the people know who Im greater than.
Now while I coordinate my style to the slope of a tool,
I gotta shout out to Bart, because the Simpsons Rule!
Before I get back to work, I must assess the situation,
Cause this is really hard, like sigma notation.
It aint no error I function all the ways that I do,
Just like Outkast said, "Roses smell like poopoo"
Even though that last line made absolutely no sense,
Its just the way that I am, it just intersects.
But if you think this rhyme stinks, that I aint cool,
Ill Nth term test your butt back to middle school.
So just sit back and relax and take it in stride,
If you cant do this, my suggestion is to run and hide.
Cause Ill be there where you are, parallel to your house,
All with no noise, a substitute to a mouse.
Im outta here now like a bullet from a gun,
But fore I do I gotta say...Riemann Sum!